looking forward to this season.
mike

Why be hostile toward the other tribe living next door and make your life miserable for the next 10-20 days? It is not like either tribe will get any real advantage if the other tribe is a little more hungry. That has never made a difference before. Why not kick back and enjoy the opposite sex inbetween the challenges. It sure would make the sleeping arrangements much more fun.

Take what you can, and give nothing back!

That said, some of the guys are total tools.

And that will be ugly. Actually in terms of ugliness it will reach levels of PUG FUGLY.

And, yes, I’m thrilled Redeption Island has sunk into the sea!

Ozzy seemed to enjoy his time at RI and left the show one of the less bitter players. Really, I would have thought that by the final TC that Jim’s bitterness would have worn off. I can understand that Rick was still bitter but Jim. really?

I especially felt for poor Brandon when all the stuff started to come out about how he had been played. The good thing is that he seems proud of how he played. If he is like his Survivor self in real life with just a little polishing, I think he will grow up to be a pretty good man. I was also rather impressed when Russell said he was “Uncle Russell” and would shut up if Brandon wanted him to. In a weird way, I felt that Russell was supporting Brandon.

I agree with Mike on why Coach lost. He just painted himself into a corner from which he could not get out. It was not unlike the Immunity challenge when edna left.

And no matter what edna said, I think that it was wrong of Coach and others (HONOR and INTEGRITY) to take advantage of Brandon’s spiritual side.

I still have a shit load of candy. WTF was I thinking??????

Like the pic: http://tinyurl.com/7gcsn5d

Sure, the episodes weren’t always great, but you know what was? The Armchair Survivor Podcast and the community!

And in the end, all of you made Survivor that much more enjoyable. So thank you for that.

And a happy holidays to everyone!

Ozzie won the 100k and Cochran was (a distant) 2nd. Ozzie should have been ineligible.

If you had told me at the start of the season that Coach would make final 3 and get 3 votes to win Survivor, I would have called you a liar. I’ve always loved him but never thought he had what it took to be a hardcore Survivor strategist. This season proved me wrong, and happily so. All in all, I’m still a happy Coach fan, and I hope people can now see Coach not as an entertaining joke, but as a serious gameplayer, who has it in him to succeed at Survivor, and be a respectful human being. He may have lied and misled, which he admitted at Final Tribal but he never treated anyone badly or disrespected them, and that also reflects well on him.

So all in all… I enjoyed the season, feel privileged to be a part of it with all of you guys and can’t wait to do it all again in a few short months. This is the C team, signing out!!

I wouldn’t mind if they bring back two veteran losers, especially Cochran and Phillip. They wouldn’t win, but they would add amusing stuff during the early episodes.

I think Coach played a great game. All the region and honor stuff was a great strategy to keep sheep together. He never believed the lie and dumped Ozzie when he had the chance. It just was a little short. But I don’t know if he had a better way to go.

Please please please dump Redemption Island. Every single returnee has been the immediate target to vote out. And please mix the tribes up before the merge so that the tribe alliances don’t ruin 3-4 episodes after the merge as they methodically eliminate the weaker tribe.

Lisa Ann Russell and “Survivor” host Jeff Probst said, “I do,” PEOPLE confirms exclusively.
The pair married Monday in front of family and friends in an intimate ceremony at a private Los Angeles residence, says a spokesperson for the couple.
This is the second marriage for both. Russell, 40, shares custody of two children with “Franklin & Bash” actor Mark-Paul Gosselaar, 38, who got engaged to advertising executive Catriona McGann this summer.
Probst, 50, will preside over the finale of “Survivor: South Pacific” on CBS December 18. His self-titled talk show will debut in the fall of 2012.

30 Bonus points for using Eddie Cantor from Boardwalk Empire this week!!!

Michael,

Russhole and Rosa Parks really? That’s a new low. Much like Boon in Animal House- You should be “so ashamed.”

Sorry I didn’t call in last week. Very rough week personally, something I’ve been working very hard on and had almost completed was pulled out from under me. I’ve been so focused on that one thing I almost forgot just how good I already have it. Better start planning my Survivor video huh?

Yes, Coach’s Shakespeare quote is a real Shakespeare quote. Coach quoted it mostly exactly correct, omitting a few words but keeping most of the intended meaning. It was said by Brutus in ‘Julius Caesar’ Act 4 Scene 3.

“There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.”

And yes, quoting this did endear Coach even more to me

We also heard Rick talk. Hmmm. Wonder what that means?

It would add a TON of drama to it and would be fun overall.

I think they missed the boat on making that a part of the strategy of RI.

There likely are ways to make redemption more exciting and impacting on the game.

I believe that Dan and possibly others have said that there should be no more redemption spectators. Keep the returner a secret. That way wild speculation will impact the game.

I also that that the returning member form Redemtion should have immunity for the first vote so they don’t pull a Matt. Give then a chance to get back in the game. Or maybe they have a Immunity idol given to them that they can use at their discretion.

I also fee that once the tribes Merges that Redemption island is foolish. Keeping it pre-merge might be nice but post-merge, I don’t really like it. What I might like is if post-merge it turned into an outcasts tribe where all the members voted off came back to perform a challenge against the remaining players in survivor for their shots to get back in (Like in Pearl Islands) So instead of people having to watch a single duel that most people have called boring each week. We have an exciting thrilling episode filled with tons of desperate survivors.

but it would probably be easier to just get rid of it instead of implementing changes.

One idea I would love to see for an upcoming season would be basically a no-tribe game. All the contestants live on one island together. For the early immunity challenges, the groups are divided either randomly or through different version of school yard picks into two teams. One team wins immunity. That means they are safe from tribal council, but also means they aren’t voting in tribal council, and if they have a friend on the opposing team they might still have to make deals and such to keep them around.

This element would mean that all alliances would have to be large and malleable because there is no guarantee that you will be on the same tea, with your allies, or that someone important won’t get cut from the team.

Likely this type of game should be played with All-Stars as this element is a fundamental change to the game and will likely prove harder to deal with. Making it more fitting for people who have played a few time already.

Just change the rules AFTER Coach wins !!

And Marji, were you aware that Hunter was on the same initial tribe as Boston Rob in the Marquesas. See how the everything is connected.

And, finally, I enjoyed Kiwi Scott’s interview. Maybe between seasons or at the summer break we could all “interview” you. You could limit the number of questions or else it could get out of control. Not unlike a normal weekend show, I guess. Just a thought I am throwing out.

The winner of the Immunity Challenge wins the right to cast an extra vote at Tribal Council. Maybe they have to give up immunity to get this right, or maybe they don’t, whichever works best. Thus if a member of the minority tribe wins immunity, they can have extra power to either force a tie or encourage a shift from the tribe in power.

Also, they could disregard the rule about not planting anymore idols whilst at least one is in play. That way a tribe cant monopolise the idol like Coach is doing now and Boston Rob did last season and it would encourage more paranoia among those in control.

I hope they will dump returning veterans and dump Redemption Boredom Island.

Still, I join Marji in finding him a despicable person.

But he does make good TV. Because if this is another season where a veteran commands his minions to not talk to the other tribe, then I doubt I will watch Survivor next season. I did see that this week’s episode votes out two more people, so obviously we have had four terribly boring tribal councils that Mark Burnett graciously cut down to two episodes. PLEASE STOP BRINGING BACK THE VETERANS WITH NEWBIES!!!!

Lets face it, the truth is that Jim would have done the same things that Coaches side did and are doing if his team had the power. The old saying is so true “Winners are grinners and the losers can please themselves!”

I look forward to the challenge dear sir, perhaps pistols at dawn or swords at dusk, we shall settle this as civilized men!

I still stand by what I said, even if Cochran did not do it consciously. He was never going to say “no” to them. And I do not ascribe to the theory that he should have “been a man” and stated his piece. That would have been no gain to that.

I completely agree. Cochran wasn’t gonna tell them No for a number of reasons, one of which is that he probably didn’t have the balls to do it.

Instead he reacted in a manner that most people would realize make his tribe respond in a negative manner.

Again I agree

Honestly, it’s brilliant if that was on purpose. It lets Cochran leak how he feels about the plan while people give him an earful for it, adding to ammunition he can use against them. I’m almost tempted to say it’s passive aggressive.

If it is intentional than it is TOTALLY Passive aggressive and would significantly lower Cochran’s stock in my eyes, the sticking point for me is intent. I personally try to consider that most people in survivor don’t play a perfect game. They play a game that is good enough to get to the end. Cochran not flat out lying to them I count as a mistake on his part, not a calculated move, because I have NEVER seen someone play survivor who was THAT good at constant manipulation. Cochran is no expectation in my book.

Why would I say such a thing, though? Because I’ve seen it in action. I’ve called it out.
And best/worst of all… Ive done it.

As have we all Doiom, as have we all

But that doesn’t make the Coch a bad person. Not even a bad Survivor player. In fact, this might get him far.

Again I agree

As Popeye once said… “I just calls it as I sees it.”

Again, as do I.

I just find it kinda humorous that the was I see it, if you are right Cochran is the most masterful manipulator the game has ever seen; whereas if I am right he is s a pretty normal person who made a good move. So if I’m wrong then I guess I must bow to Cochran, our future dark overlord.

Thank you for your comments, everything said above was meant in good taste and good humor.

5. FUCK EVERYONE WHO HAS FALLEN FOR COCHRAN BY EMPATHIZ.. (oh fuck, I can’t spell that word) WHO WAS BULLIED AND LIKES COCHRAN.
On a personal note, please do not tell me or any other people to “Shut the fuck up” everyone has a right to their opinions on here, as I recall both Mike and Marji were laughing during my call and I think I got them to laugh a few times with. If you didn’t enjoy what I said I encourage you to find the flaws in my arguments and show them to me.
BTW you came across as kind of a douche to Marji and thats not nice.
I have apologized to Marji in many places if I offended her, I did not hear her feeling bad. My intent was not to tear her down, but to try to illustrate some of the points I was feeling. The comment about “The most foolish thing ever said on the show” was actually supposed to be a set up for the joke where I rag on Mike for saying foolish things. I debated editing that out all night but decided to leave it in because I figured it was funny. If I was wrong then I will again apologize to Marji.
Marji, I am sorry if I offended you. I hope you can forgive me if I have. I through that I was doing everything I could to let you know that I still have a great respect for you and your opinions and feelings as a person (Which are the core of the issue I can see and are as I have said in an earlier comment completely valid). I hope my history with the show also illustrates that this was not my intention, we have long been allies against Mike and his silliness and I see us again joining forces many times. Again Marji I am sorry.
As to you Pie, telling me to “shut the fuck up” is also not nice.
I will say that your other posts are much more toned down and coherent and I can see what your beleifs are. I disagree with them and I think they are wrong but they are your beliefs and they are much better illustration of your frustrations with Cochran.

I’d like to think that as part of the Armchair Survivor community, we pride ourselves on frank and open discussions.

So while we may (and it pains me to say this) fall on the same side of some arguments, I do not agree with your suggestion of people “shutting the fuck up”.

Hell, this is becoming a great season because people are speaking up.

“And as evidence for this, moments later you embraced Dr Doom’s idea that Cochran was somehow manipulating Keith into causing a fight with him by hesitating to respond instantly to somehow push Keith buttons. The logic as to why Cochran would do this is shotty at best. The only reason that I heard was so that he would have a reason to flip, but I highly doubt that Cochran would need more of a reason the flip, or any reason to flip instead of “It will get me further in the game”, I also think that if not instantly jumping on board with an idea someone has annoys someone to the level the Savaii members seemed to reach then that button is far too easily manipulated, I also think that how Cochran then backpedaled away from the issue instead of continuing to press on suggests that wasn’t his goal at all, he retreated in the face of success and didn’t continue to be wishy washy to their face, to annoy them and cause strife, lastly Cochran has never before implemented such a strategy in the game, he has never caused problems tried to stir the pot except for the flipped vote, which has been discussed greatly and was not done of malice. None of those facts are consistent with Cochran intentionally picking the fight”

I still stand by what I said, even if Cochran did not do it consciously. He was never going to say “no” to them. And I do not ascribe to the theory that he should have “been a man” and stated his piece. That would have been no gain to that. Instead he reacted in a manner that most people would realize make his tribe respond in a negative manner.

Honestly, it’s brilliant if that was on purpose. It lets Cochran leak how he feels about the plan while people give him an earful for it, adding to ammunition he can use against them. I’m almost tempted to say it’s passive aggressive.

Why would I say such a thing, though? Because I’ve seen it in action. I’ve called it out.

And best/worst of all… Ive done it.

But that doesn’t make the Coch a bad person. Not even a bad Survivor player. In fact, this might get him far.

As Popeye once said… “I just calls it as I sees it.”

Well done this week. I can’t speak for Dan and Kiwi but you have my vote to join the C-Team.

I just feel he didn’t work the social aspect well enough on his own tribe. Yes, not all of them treated him like the should have. And yes, he’s not as comfortable with it, as you guys have also point out.

But the thing is, this is Survivor. And if you know the game like he claimed to, then you know the social aspect’s almost as important as the physical. Cochran certainly didn’t have the physical. The social should have been his focus. Instead, he seemed so passive (aggressive) and put-upon.

I’ll equate it again, to that one kid in gym class. Sometimes he’s forced to play, and it’s not his fault. But sometimes, he CHOOSES to play. A conscious decision. He better well give a damn.

Now maybe I missed it Maybe it was edited out. But I didn’t see much of Cochran working social magic. And I know it can be done. Heck, look at Yau-Man. (Okay, he could do some challenges. Still…)

Reiterating again that the tribe certainly did not always treat Cochran as he should have.

And again, Cochran has apparently found himself in a good position. And this is Survivor, where that’s what it’s all about. To which i say, kudos to him.

This horrible fuck has stolen camera time from Albert, Sophie, Edna, Rick, Keith, Whitney and countless other South Pacific contestants. It is fucking wrong that the 99% have to suffer as the 1% of Cochran has stolen all the fucking screentime. Think, Mike, of all the camera-time that could have been spent on a Whitney or Elyse bathing scene… It was spent on this terrible attention-whoring person with bad self-deprecating humor that became unfunny after one week.

Cochran hate does not come out of irrational hate for nerds. It comes from hating his motives, which are as transparent as a ghost wearing a body condom. Hes trying to endear himself to the reject in everyone, and viewers like some above are obviously not as intelligent as others like myself and Mrs Carrino, to realize that he is not worthy of any defense.

I always aim to impress, inform, and/or entertain,

Perhaps now I am good enough to officially join the C-team,

BTW Your court of law was very entertaining.

On looking for reasons to hate Cochran: I did not mean to say that you were ALWAYS looking for reason to hate him. What I meant was you are NOW looking for any reason to hate him, it’s common, I do it too. As you have said, your core issue is that you felt lied to, which I can understand and I can respect, even thought I think it is erroneous, it is your place to hold such beliefs and holding them neither means I dislike you nor makes you less entitled to share them. However I think you pulled all this other stuff that supported your hatred of Cochran so that your hatred could be stronger, better supported, and less personal. I can understand why it happened. And as evidence for this, moments later you embraced Dr Doom’s idea that Cochran was somehow manipulating Keith into causing a fight with him by hesitating to respond instantly to somehow push Keith buttons. The logic as to why Cochran would do this is shotty at best. The only reason that I heard was so that he would have a reason to flip, but I highly doubt that Cochran would need more of a reason the flip, or any reason to flip instead of “It will get me further in the game”, I also think that if not instantly jumping on board with an idea someone has annoys someone to the level the Savaii members seemed to reach then that button is far too easily manipulated, I also think that how Cochran then backpedaled away from the issue instead of continuing to press on suggests that wasn’t his goal at all, he retreated in the face of success and didn’t continue to be wishy washy to their face, to annoy them and cause strife, lastly Cochran has never before implemented such a strategy in the game, he has never caused problems tried to stir the pot except for the flipped vote, which has been discussed greatly and was not done of malice. None of those facts are consistent with Cochran intentionally picking the fight. However this theory fits in with the concept you had of Cochran as a horrible human being so you embraced it, which is something else people do a lot, it makes you a human, but it is a prime example of looking for reasons to hate Cochran.

Marji, I wanted to end this by saying I posted these things to clarify my points so we can understand each other better. What you adhere to and believe are your own prerogative and as much as vehemently wish to show you my viewpoint I cannot force you to see anything. I will likely be cringing at any comment about Cochran being a jerk from here on in, but I don’t think I’m petty enough to let that stop me from loving you guys and loving contributing to your show. I also want to thank you for clarifying your points, I believe much of my dismay was at comments I felt were clearly slanderous being used to defame Cochran and I felt driven to right them, but I am not about to lead an inquisition against those you blaspheme against him. Everyone has a right to love or hate who they want to on survivor, I would just implore people to only hate people for valid reasons and not misconceptions. Your feeling lied to is a valid and deep feeling, and nothing I say to pick at other arguments is ment to make that core issue less true to you. I truly hope it the feeling heals because I can only imagine that such vitriol from such a good person like you can only come from a place of immense pain. Unlike Mike who thrives on such anger.

Well I guess that’s it unless I think of something else, As always keep doing the Survivor thing.

The move was good for Cochran, There really is NOTHING that I can objectively complain about Cochran bettering himself in the game. If his bettering himself hurts another player I was rooting for, I could be a little pissed about that but the anger wouldn’t be as vitriolic as I have heard and would likely be more playful. I can’t rightly blame a person for making a good move in survivor.

The move only hurt the Savaii members, and in survivor you have to be able to control people so they don’t do things like this. Through love, through trust, even through fear, that game comes down to getting a group of other people to do something that’s better for you than it is for someone else. Savaii failed to do this. Cochran did not fail to do it. Therefor it is hard to find fault in Cochran for a good play. If Savaii had not wanted to get their shit pushed in they should have considered the immediate future. I have provided repeated and ample evidence that animosity towards Cochran was at an all time high before the merge. Whether the animosity was justified or not a GOOD player should have taken time to consider who this might effect the future of their own game, because it is your duty and your duty alone to consider and play your own game, because no one is going to do it for you for your benefit.

Some, if not all, members of Savaii did not take that into consideration, and even if they lacked foresight to see how mistreating Cochran before the Ozzy vote off could reflect negatively in the future they should have been able to see it after especially when the entire crux of the plan relied on the merge coming next and Cochran being loyal. When they came back to camp at that night they should have all been kumbaya and “were in this together” and “Your part of the team” instead they clearly excluded Cochran, just when they needed unity most.

So it’s not Cochran’s fault because he wasn’t hurt by it, he prospered. The people who were hurt are the ones who should look back and think “What Could I have done differently to not be voted off?” If you will allow me to get biblical for a moment with a quote I am sure Mike will love, Matthew 7:5 “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” To me that means the complaining Savaii members should look at what they might have done wrong first before blaming it all on Cochran

Swimming on the first day: Ozzy wanted to go out into the water one the first day and Swim, Cochran is a nerd and was uncomfortable taking off his shirt everyone, encouraged him to join them and he did (This was before any drama started so people were being friendly) This was a bonding exercise and Cochran joined in on it.

Coconuts for other people: In at least two separate episodes I remember Cochran splitting a coconut and offering them to other people, the importance of food on the island is greatly increased, and as Kucha Kimmi learned meals are bonding time.

Doing work around camp: Again doing work around camp is a way to act as part of the tribe. To get other people to think of you as something better, but everyone was condescending when he did this

The Herpes comment: That was a joke, likely meant to ingratiate himself more with the people of the tribe, in a certain circle it probably would have been better received, but in this one it back fired. This is probably the best example of Cochran attempting to bond with the tribe, because it not only illustrates that Cochran’s strength is a little lacking and illustrates the poor reception the tribe has to it.

To Marji’s comment that” Cochran put up with his poor treatment”, I would like to say that Cochran put up with it because the only other option was to make a case about it. On other shows you and mike have said that it doesn’t matter if you are annoyed with something or someone, you shut up and you deal with it. And you DON’T make a case out of it because it’s a few days and your gonna get money for it. In order for making a case out of it to not end up in a negative outcome then you need to be respected by the individuals so that when you say “Hey guys, you know that’s kinda bugging me would you mind cutting it out” they don’t laugh in your face and keep doing it. Cochran likely has learned to deal with such things by ignoring them because not ignoring them adds fuel to the fire. We all know how picking on an outsider goes, if they fight back they group is more energized until you throw the first punch and then suddenly you’re the one with the anger issues and “it was all just fun and games”.

It’s easy to say “all he has to do is try harder” but you’re not Cochran. People have different strengths. I can understand WHY Savaii reacted to Cochran the way they did. He was weak, he was kind of awkward and he was kind of holding them back. No one thought that would take Cochran into the merge, but he made it.

As for Cochran’s bonding skills he seems to be doing quite well with the Upholu tribe. There have been no confessionals with Coach or anyone saying he is just humoring Cochran. Brandon has bonded with him, so the entire fault of a lack of bonding doesn’t seem to be a flaw with Cochran. So perhaps it does lie with Savaii, likely for valid reasons but they failed to see something which is deadly in survivor .

*Hate Cochran if you wish but don’t hate him for a manufactured reason.

Slappy McGee went against Coach by calling him deplorable. But Slappy is a legend and has earned immunity from the wrath of us comparative newbies. So there shall be no retribution. Carry on good sir!

This is my last Cochran related Marji comment Next week… ragging on the inevitable departure of Shitney, who apparently cheated on her husband whilst out on the island with Keith.

Cochran deeply wanted to make a mark on Survivor since he has been so obsessed by it. He hasn’t been able to lead any group, he can’t provide food, and he doesn’t make any positive impact on challenges. All he could do to make a mark is to make a big blind side, and it would have to be him alone because he couldn’t lead a group. So it is understandable, and does let him survive a little longer, but he has no chance to win.

I have to say again how much I hate having the veterans return. They always become the de facto leaders of the tribes, so no other groups emerge. And it leads to the most boring process in all of Survivor — one majority group drumming out the minority group one by one by one by one. Even the producers have trouble hiding the boringness of those episodes and now just try to get them over with.

The ONLY interesting twist right now is if a group of newbies are smart enough to get rid of Coach. Even if Ozzy comes back, he will just be voted out quick enough by Team Coach. My bet is that Coach isn’t smart enough to hold together a team long enough, but maybe the newbies just won’t organize a rebellion.

Coach takes Edna, Brandon and Cochran (all have shown unwavering loyalty to him so far) and picks off Albert, Sophie and Rick who can do nothing about it. Then Coach can draw in Edna and Brandon who have been hanging off his coattails since day one and blindside Cochran, ensuring a final 3 where pretty much nobody except Coach can win.

And, I super agree that Upolo needs to quit letting him play the victim card and let him stand on his own.

Teee Hee – like you descriptions of Ozzy and Jim!

At that point they ALL KNEW that the ENTIRE CRUX of the plan rested on Cochran being loyal, and they treated him like an outsider.

Had they tried to show his acceptance at all I would have been COMPLETELY against the flip, but the left Cochran no choice. Stay and die for your loyalty, or try to get something better.

As I say, we are all entitled to our opinion and that is what makes this all great.

I love margurie… but I have no idea where all this hate is coming from. Cochran is far from the most “disgusting” or “evil” player to play this game. He’s not even in the top 20.

It’s like Cochran visited the Carrino’s a few weeks ago and shat on the couch.

I might post some stuff on the Facebook page, and it might just feature a song I like to call…. Ozzy Christ, Superstar!

This is another reason why I hate bringing back veterans. They concentrate so hard on tribal loyalty that it makes 3-5 episodes just boring. The newbies just are not smart enough to get rid of the veteran early. Once the merge happens and they execute all the weaker tribe, it is too late for a rebellion against the veteran.

Cochrain did make a good play for third place. Who would vote him off now? He will never win a challenge and he will get no votes from the jury.

Exhibit B: Russell Hantz. Burnt people’s belongings. Tipped out their water to make them physically deteriorate. Hid the machetes. And he’s less deplorable than Cochran, the guy who only flipped on his tribe and lied to them to proceed in the game??

And don’t give me any of this “He wasnt really mistreated” BS. If he wasn’t being mistreated how come Dawn in the last episode was crying and saying she wished she stood up for him more??

Okay I’m calm. And my Marji love is fully intact don’t worry. I just had to get that out there, as this show was a little hard to take with the over Cochran hate.

I didn’t even know about this until I saw it last night. I was in Vegas on a business trip and I didn’t want to come on the site for fear of spoiling the results. Awful news. Seems you all had some comfort last night.

I hope you are all well. I guess it’s a reminder to not let the time we have go to waste. Let’s do this thing and all get together. Let’s do it this summer!

- Kiwi Scott

And yes, you’re right, I have no business teaching this language, but I do! Mwahahaha.

Players with the physical ineptitude of Cochran or Sandra can literally not afford to play that way if they want to win. Not everyone is blessed with a Colby or James-esque physique and physical prowess, and some of us (probably myself included) would be a liability in challenges. If your preference played out, these people would never have a chance because they should be stopping playing the game right after they fuck up a challenge. Therefore Sandra would have went out pre merge both seasons and Cochran would currently be waiting to get owned by the Sea Hag and sent home from Redemption.

Overall, I think your preference for honourable physical gameplay is fine and good, as long as you dont start insisting that players of lesser stature must adhere to that, because that would make Survivor a far worse game, when only muscle bound goliaths and nice guys get to the end. Having a wide range of strategies and ways for different types of people to win is what makes the game great. Honourable play can work (Tom Westman, Ethan, Colby to a lesser extent) but so can coattail riding and shrewd social manipulation (Sandra, Cochran, Natalie White etc). This is why I think all strategies that work be they ‘honourable’, ‘ballsy’ or ‘cowardly’ and ‘slimy’ should be regarded as viable.

In this game? Heck no. If you somehow manage to avoid taking the fall for your own shortcomings AND get someone else to fall on the sword with your name on it, that’s big win.

The only way it could have worked out better for Cochran is if he had come up with the idea himself. (Future ammunition for why he deserves to win the game)

Thank you – of course having Ozzy as a teammate is better than Cochran (in Survivor challenges so far). And, I see your point if everyone is forgetting you and not voting you out why would one jump up (even though there is part of me that says if you were soooo bad in the challenge you should “man up”) but they were telling Cochran he was the one to go to get redemption for his mistake. They encouraged him and supported him.

And, even though a strategy has been to be a coat-tail rider doesn’t mean that a true player and Survivor should take the lowest road possible to the end. Play a honorable game and you will get far. Colby is the best example ever – Tina won Survivor but Colby really won – he got a tripped out Harley, more chances on Survivor, gillette commercials and now a tv show. And, more importantly respect of the audience.

Cochran you man win the tiny, tiny battle but you have clearly lost the war.

To you my dear competitor…

It’s like saying your cat jumped on your lap out of a secret plan to reach into your pocket and withdraw your credit card. Such things are obviously far beyond the mental capacities of aforesaid cat, just as such planning is far beyond the capacities of aforesaid Ozzy.

The way Marghie is phrasing things is like a player on the game would think. YES, you would want for Cock-train to be voted off. YES, you would want him to accept his fate and go home. YES, he should just do that ‘cuz he sucks at challenges.

BUT… Margey, if everyone who lost a challenge “paid for it” by accepting to being voted off, then we would have had many, many, maaaany cut-and-dry tribals in most of the past seasons.

The fact is that hardly ever do the people who suck at the challenges get voted off that same night. It is usually a strategy/alliance decision that gets someone voted off, not how they did in that challenge that specific day. Sure, blowing it in a challenge sometimes puts “heat” on that person that evening, but when it comes right down to it, the alliances/numbers/social game (etc) is what decides who goes home.

So, I really think – Margeie – you are reacting as a player and wanting Cock-runs to admit to being the “weak link.” When, in fact, he should NEVER admit to that and simply AGREE to go along with getting voted off. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t DESERVE to be voted off. He does, of course. But he should NEVER just “man up” and accept the blame. That would be just stupid of him. It’s not how you play the game or win the million.

Now, he did get super lucky that Ozzy took the dive for him, but how incredibly DUMB would it have been for Cock-chin to override Ozzy’s wishes and go himself. That would be the ultimate sign of a TERRIBLE player not adhering to the “outwit” part of the game. So, Cock-son did the right thing and went along with it… even though we all know he deserved to be voted off.

Still, my point remains. Boston Rob set the precedent of voting out a player who gives props to the other tribe! :p

Oh my God Marji, I’m so sorry, I’m sure we will return to the normal service of the man being wrong next week!! But us men need to have at least one week out of every 235 where we are designated right by the majority. It’s in our man contract.

Well to reply, first,obviously I would want Ozzy on my side. But if I cannot marshall the votes to eliminate Cochran for being weak at challenges for any way, then obviously he is doing better at the game of Survivor than me. I think that the point that’s being overlooked is that sure, in theory the other players should want to ditch Cochran for being a liability. And the fact that they continually bungle it, don’t get it done, or have some other stupid ass volunteer themselves for the chopping block instead speaks to their intense stupidity. If everyone just forgets to vote you out, should you really be making a song and dance about “Come on guys, it should be me here, I really screwed the pooch today!” No, it shouldnt, because if that happened you would be having a podcast where you labelled Cochran an incompetent jackass.

Other people’s stupidity is an assuredly viable and legitimate way to stay in the game of Survivor. If all your competitors are being stupider than you are and keeping the blood sucking parasitic challenge botching leech around, that’s THEIR problem not Cochran’s! And when the other people are stupider than you are and are overlooking you, that does make you a better player in that situation by definition.

Until other players start wising up and cutting down the so-called coattail riders, then there is a legitimate argument to be made that coattail riding is a strategy that should be recognised as playing the game to win, and a deserved victory.

From your coattail comments too Marji, I take it you favored Russell Hantz to beat Natalie in the final 3 of Survivor Samoa then?

(Mike wrote the show notes on this one so I get to tease him a bit)

Ahhhh, I love this

And, Sandra did not outwit her tribemates she out-coat-tailed them but I don’t see that in the Survivor theme.

And, Cochran so far hasn’t really played the game that well he has just been lucky and in Survivor I don’t think the winner should be just lucky or just a good “under the radar” coattail rider. You should have to plan, play, and win.

In my case let me point to Boston Rob – he won challenges (outplayed them), he stayed longest (outlasted them), and continued to work his group with his stunning (and sometimes shocking) tactics. My arguement then still stays valid.

Ball in your court…

No… Cochran should not have gone home because he stunk up the challenge!! You’re missing the other two thirds of Survivor; Outwit and Outlast. As long as someone is playing a worse game than you socially or strategically… they deserve to go before you. Since Ozzy was playing a worse strategic game than Cochran by enacting a plan to go home before Cochran… HE DESERVED TO GO MORE THAN COCHRAN!

And Sandra deserved to win because she was socially astute, tactically on the ball and through her skill at the game managed to always place someone else on the chopping block before her. Who cares that she sucked in challenges? Her opponents could have got rid of her at anytime but they didnt. Because she was better at staying in the game than all them. AND staying in the game in such a way that alienates less people and causes her to receive votes in the end! Thus… Marji your argument in effect becomes “Sandra/Cochran dont deserve to win because they’re playing the game better than the others.” Thus, your argument is self contradicting, and thus invalid.

Uh oh… I’m going to get my ass kicked.

However, it leaves a bit too many variables. Cochran could flip. Even if he doesn’t, it’s still 6-6. It could come down to who guesses the correct person to play the idol on. High tension!!

From a C team perspective… this next vote is possibly the last time Coach is in jeopardy until at least Final 6. This will be a nail biter of an episode. My prediction is that Ozzy beats Christine, comes back into the game. They merge, but then Cochran flips to Upolu and votes Ozzy right back out. If not Ozzy, then Keith.

I wonder if that is against the law because Congress enacted laws about TV game shows after a scandal back in the 50′s or 60′s. So I am not sure Survivor can just make up the rules as they go along.

Please bring back the reward challenge because at least those challenges had an impact on the game.

But I would probably stick with my ally if we had been loyal to one another through out most of the game. If I targeted anyone I would probably target my strongest competitor assuming that he is well respected. If he were universally unpopular I would target the nice old lady. But it is very easy to say thins from the comfort of my computer not in the stress of the game….

But sometimes, it the challenges don’t feel like they fit the tone of the situation: a desperate struggle to survive.

Still, at least it’s anyone’s game as far as the challenges go, which I appreciate.

Aaaand it’s so crazy, it just might work!

Of course, an argument against him is that the idol back then was too powerful, but I don’t hold that against him.

Yes! I like them! I think they fit well! You claimed that I thought the duels were exciting because they were action packed. That was not my point, I agree with you they had very little action. My point is that most duels in media are SUPPOSED TO HAVE VERY LITTLE ACTION. It’s the tension, not the action, that makes them exciting, especially the shuffle board. It was a struggle whether or not one of them was gonna miss and choke in the end it came down to a single throw for each in shuffle board. A pitched struggle back and forth as I was rooting for Elyse to win. The Bean bag throw was not as much because Christine got ahead and papa bear just struggled but it highlighted Christine’s determination and desire to win against a somewhat lazy papa bear. The Ball challenge was similar It showed Christine using her mind against a fed up and ready to leave Stacey. Her defeat was no big deal to her, but was saw how much Christine wants it we connect with her more the spotlight is on them and we get to decide who is more deserving and then see if they win. I do think that Christine is the more deserving of the contestants to be sent to Redemption island, her time there and how she has performed there has changed my mind. Though I still personally root against her because I know there are people who I am rooting for more that she will be a hassle for, but it’s this kind of complex feelings that have been missing from the last of the survivors, It’s why I was so drained during Nicaragua. The good people got voted off and the crappy assholes were left. The only person I liked was Fabio who only became really dominate later in the game.

This seasons has brought back the excitement I have not felt since Tocantins and Gabon, where there are a collection of good deserving players on either side of the alliance hopefully they go far and the duels have let me see that. They aren’t the action packed but they provide good contests that are just as abstract and pointless as building a wheelbarrow then guiding it through a maze, filling it with coconuts then continuing through a maze then turning it into a slingshot and using the coconuts to knock down targets.

I have come to expect a tense duel with a sense that either opponent could pull it out and win until one of the competitors actually wins victory, and then an exciting action packed battle for the challenge. They have not disappointed me with either.

So no Marji I was not saying that the Duels are action packed, just that they were good without the action. These challenges fit much better here on redemption that they do elsewhere in the show. Anyone could win, It doesn’t matter if someone is stronger or more flexible, it matters about accuracy it matters that you win.

2. Your last remaining ally in the game. You didn’t start out playing the game together as an alliance but you have found yourself in a fox hole together, and thus have formed current seemingly doomed partnership. The past few days have been tense as you both have seen all your allies picked off one by one, but they are really the only person you can trust in this game.
the opposing tribe’s solid three; consisting of
3. Your biggest physical competitor in challenges. Any immunity you lost he won and most challenges have come down to struggles between you two [Think Colby from Australia],

4. The most adored player in the game; This little lady has charmed her way into everyone’s hearts by being genuinely nice and caring about everyone. Many of your friends on the jury have said nice things about her in private moments before they were voted off. She is gonna be a tough beat in the final jury no matter who she is up against. [Think Tina Wesson also from Australia]

5. Your mortal enemy in the game. Probably has no hope of winning the jury vote no matter who they are up against. Not even the other two in the alliance like them all that much, but he has a particular dislike of you. He is the Naonka to your Kelly B, The Alica to your Kucha Kimmi. This person has had it out for you since day one, if not the merge rest of the alliance likes them all that much If this was going to go to a final two the others in the alliance would likely cut this one. In fact the other two people seem to like you more as a person than they like this guy. You are fairly certain that if he wasn’t around you might be able to talk final three with the other two remaining, but if this guy is in charge there is no way in hell he is picking you for the final three. [This person’s archetype is probably Phillip Shepherd]
and
6. The Dead Fish/Lap dog/Coattail rider. This player could be replaced by a sack of potatoes that mimics the vote of the majority with probably the only noticeable difference being an improvement in challenge performance. This player hasn’t checked out of the game, he was never in it to begin with. This person would likely be more hated but he literally does nothing.[Dan from Nicaragua]
The jury is packed with your former tribe mates (Who really don’t harbor many ill feelings because you did not align to personally vote them of) and the betrayed members of the opposing tribe.
Finally, not only are you wearing the immunity necklace, you are also in possession of a Hidden immunity idol which is last able to be used at the next tribal council. (The vote for the Final 4)
My question is this: Do you use the Idol to save your ally in the game or do you save your idol? Some things to consider are
- If used you and your partner will be able to oust any one you want
- A move like this will likely be a shining piece of strategy ammunition for jury votes when asked why you should win
- It is not beyond the realm of possibilities that you will win the next immunity challenge (Especially if you target your biggest physical competitor) and another win with an idol in your pocket will mean a wasted idol
- While the immunity idol in your pocket will protect you to final four, at that point you will likely going up against the solid three which will likely mean you will have to win there to get to the jury vote anyway.
- You know that jury was mostly voted out through schemes of the strong three. The Jury is favorable to Tina, Not too keen on Dan and completely annoyed by Phillip, You do not know how you stack up against your alliance mate or the other physical competitor, but as all survivor contestants you are pretty confident you can beat them.
- This move is in no way a sure thing and could result in you getting sent to the jury
I would love to hear what you all think.
Would you use your idol on your partner and why or why not?
If you did play the idol, who would you target and why?
What would be the strategic moves you would try to do before the next tribal council?

You said Coach is a douche for Coaching Mikayla and telling her she was doing it wrong and should have listened to him.

Um… COACH WAS CORRECT. She WAS doing it wrong. She SHOULD have listened to him. She went into business for herself. AND HE’S A COACH SO HE COACHES PEOPLE. Where is the douche in this?? So apparently the definition of douche is “Being completely correct in your advice giving. Doing things which fall in line with your chosen profession.” You aren’t winning this one Mike

Since my call in will probably be long enough as it is this week I think I’ll deal with the issues you’ve brought up about Coach and honesty here. I’ll call it the Coach Wade Honestygate scandal.

I have very little idea why whenever a player or contestant says something along the lines of I want to try and play with honesty because of my religious values, people feel the need to immediately hold them to ridiculous standards of moral perfection. “Ohhh he withheld the information about Mikayla having a hangnail. WHAT A HYPOCRITE.”

If you look through the history of Survivor and look at the players the Survivor community would dub the most honest players who had the most integrity you get names like Ethan Zohn (Africa) and Fireman Tom (Palau). Yet Tom browbeated Ian into quitting and blindsided Greg. Ethan thew a challenge to get rid of Silas and withheld information on numerous votes from the opposing alliances and players. Then you have players who DO play completely honestly like Matt last season and they get called boneheaded for making stupid moves and not lying!!

I think in Survivor the definition of a player who is playing with honesty and integrity by the standards of Ethan and Tom above is one who does their best not to go out of their way to openly deceive, lie and cheat and only does any sort of questionable act when it is of absolute necessity to protect their game and not throw themselves or their alliance under the bus. Coach is doing this, and always has done. People shouldn’t hold him to standards they dont hold other players to just because his reasons for trying to play as honestly as possible are religious ones.

I will reveal my predicted final 3 on the call in show… but it’s not too far away from yours.

And thanks for posting it on the page here. Michael and Margherieie always rock it. Hard.

As far as Coach goes… he claims to be both dragon and slayer… so I wish he would just slay himself and get it over with already. (and by that… I mean off the show).

((He seems like a nice guy for the most part. But I’m tired of his better-than-thou attitude and so forth. I would much rather focus on Jim and Mikayla. Mmmmm… Mikayla.))

What’s the name of the piece of music that you use when talking about Lil’ Hantz? It’s in a video game I used to have from PS2 a few years back.

‘How come Coach called himself both the dragon and the dragonslayer isnt he getting his metaphor mixed up??’

The answer is of course no. Coach, being the paragon of philosophical knowledge that he is, knows one thing clearer than all else. All things are a connected continuum with no clear boundaries existing between objects/entities beyond those of which we divide in our own minds using the illusory deciphering tools known as space and time. Thus, in proclaiming the fact that he is both the dragon and the dragon slayer; the prey and the hunter, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, Coach in effect says that he sees all things as one, unified creation. Thus in his being he incorporates aspects of both things, which people may mistakenly assume are separate and contradictory. Coach is both dragon and dragon slayer. The mixing of metaphors is all in your mind and Coach proclaims nothing but the truth in both statements.

They won by two ounces – there is at least 2 ounces of hocked lugis and spit out bloody saliva in the basket. And if the disgusting gnawing and spitting wasn’t bad enough, they are given the regurgitated meat to eat as a prize. And it’s all topped off by a discussion of oral herpes and cut lips. Makes me want to bathe in hand sanitizer while I choke back the urge to vomit.

They should make the Redemption Island challenge the same every week; always the pork eating teeth breaking fatty meat-fest! That way although the person who wins the challenge improves at meat gnawing by practise, they also break all their teeth rendering them at a disadvantage and evening up the ledger.

SPIT!! RIP!! GNAW!! SLOOSH!! DRIBBLE!!! MEAT JUICE!! HURL!! PIG BITS!! HALF CHEWED PARTIALLY DIGESTED CHUNKS!!

Yes Marji, this comment IS retribution for your less than enthusiastic comments regarding Coach Wade.

In reply, I say this. Albert’s declaration resulted in Coach obtaining the Hidden Immunity Idol. Any move which results in Coach obtaining a Hidden Immunity Idol is a smart move. Fullstop. End of story.

Unfortunately I on behalf of the waders have to issue you Mike and you Marji, a STERN WARNING. Way too much Coach bashing on this show.

In his confessionals his name was be shown as ‘James Hantz: No Relation to Russell Hantz’. And then the whole focus of the show will be to compare his gameplay which has nothing to do with Russell to Russell and then saying “This certainly isnt how Russell would have done it? What’s next for James Hantz? Can he redeem the Hantz family name… for a different Hantz family??”

I would definitely be down for a 1:30-2 hour Survivor.

However, unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that there would be any extra focus on the other castaways, As with Big Brother, it could always just be another stage for the main clowns.

Everytime they have a longer show, it’s always a better episode (This season’s premiere, Heroes vs Villains premiere) with more character moments and build up. Sometimes I think an hour for every 3 days just isnt enough.

AND I got the show title… thanks guys Great show… and I still wish I could do that Satan voice!

“Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back.”

Dan… amazing. Doom… clever. Satan… mindbendingly evil and awesome. Brian Alt… coming around to Coach.

Plus… I am the official application collector for membership of the Waders of the lost Ark. Any interested persons can get into contact and apply. As Dan stated the entry conditions are to always have Coach in your fantasy picks. Any taking of Coach Wade out of fantasy lineups will result in immediate suspension followed by dismissal.

My tribute to Semhar and the Brandon/Mikayla love affair (With credit to the Jekyll and Hyde musical):

You are losing your mind -
You are losing control -
Fighting feelings you can’t define!

It’s a sin with a name -
No remorse and no shame -
Fire, fury and flame
Cause the devil’s to blame

And the angels proclaim
It’s a dangerous game!

It probably isn’t going to happen, but one can wish!

I cannot believe that after that Redemption Island challenge you didnt say on the show “I’d add sections of my pole to Semhar anyday”. I’m disappointed in you… I mean it was RIGHT THERE!

Oh who am I kidding? I’d NEVER trade a Coach victory for that, but it would still be pretty damn epic Come on Cochran… put Ozzy into the Ice Cream Scooper Erik hall of shame where he belongs!!

I’m hoping for the little nerdlinger to pull something massive… it would be an awesome Survivor moment!!

And yes I am rooting for whoever is against Christine… especially since Papa Bear said on his last words if he got back he would jump over to Coach’s team and anyone who goes with Coach is okay in my books. However, I dont think Papa Bear is going to win Hopefully though… next week Cochran gets out Ozzy and he goes and knocks Christine out.

THE CLASH OF THE MILLENIA!! THE DECISIVE BATTLE FORETOLD IN ANCIENT LORE!! THE BIGGEST MOST EPIC STRUGGLE SINCE WAR WRACKED THE HEAVENS AND SENT SATAN AND HIS ANGELS INTO THE FIERY CHASMS OF HELL!!

It’s… the crabby old wench vs. the fat gay guy. The only way this is going to be interesting is if they decide to make the challenge an Ultimate Fighting Championship style cage fight, in which case I’m backing Christine to win via triangle choke in the 1st round.

I also agree with Green Jeep about a teacher’s control issue. I corral 2 year olds and I am such a control freak (bordering on OCD) I have been known to count out individual Goldfish crackers so the servings are exactly the same; make the kids sit down so they can all stand up; and refold things that are not the way I want. Maybe I need a drink.

Yes, you can email us at show @ ArmchairSurvivor.com and send the mp3 file – we have several people who do that and yep – much easier than long distance calls.

Thanks!

And Mike sounded awfully understanding about stuff…

Oh my god, they’ve switched! What sort of Bizarro World is this?

I am totally with Marji in this debate… for this reason. And you have started the philosophy talk… so you cant blame me for the sheer nerdiness which is to follow.

If Mike wants to label someone’s behaviour as ‘delusional’ that comes with an implicit unstated assumption that the one doing the labelling has a complete and total grasp of the fabric of reality and every last element that constitutes this. And if one has to say that mundane 9-5 Western materialistic mindset is ‘real’ and ‘normal’ I have to point to the massive upswing in anti depressant use and mental problem diagnosis in the West as a counterpoint to your claims. If Coach in dragonland is happy and having fun, and Mr. 9-5 working the line is on Prozac and contemplating suicide I would hesitate to label Coach delusional… I would label him more well adjusted than the other guy.

In less mentally heavy news… I love the Satan evil guy call in. Who could it be??

Also, did I miss something, or is Brandon way off base with his musings on Mikayla? So far, she hasn’t done or said anything that could be compared to Parvati. And I’m certain editing would have shown some sign of it, since they love that shit.

And you know what? it’s a friggin island with beautiful weather? Are you just supposed to wear a hoodie the entire time? Plus, she’s not the only one “showing off” her body. (And no, that’s not what she was doing)

No, Brandon’s problem is that he’s projecting. Projecting his own desires and/or guilt on to her. Deep down, he’s attracted to her, and that scares him. Apparently, he doesn’t trust himself. And as shown, he can’t handle it.

1. Brandon is still giving me the nutball vibe with his fear of Mikayla. He’s going to join Calvin & Hobbes in G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Smelly girlS)

2. Christine’s got some crazy eyes (she could have a showdown with Eliza.)

3. Stacy is not giving mortician’s a good name with her monosyllabic utterances of “POW!” or the ever popular, “There it is!”

4. Brandon’s craziness is our gain as we get close-up shots of Mikayla’s lady parts!

5. Did Dr Kevorkian ever think of using Semhar’s poetry to induce euthanasia?
Dig this:
Bamboo plank, body starts to stank
Semhar feels no love, Christine gives her a shove
Word.

Hop on board the Coach bandwagon Mike and Marji… Me and Dan are driving

Plus, there’s no way he will win, so there could be the Phillip factor of “lets bring Coach to the final three”. After the first episode, this Dragon Slayer fan is optimistic.

I don’t recall Coach saying specifically “this is what you need to get to the end” he said an alliance of 5 made on day one can survive the game even if down in numbers at the merge. He says this from experience because he saw JT’s tribe in Tocantins get to the end even though down in numbers.

Plus, Coach did get 5th in Tocantins making it to Day 36, I’d say that’s pretty much as close as you can get to making it to the end. Dragon Slayer for the win!!!

And y’know for a big guy Keith was practically invisible. He either goes a lot further or is just D-U-L-L.

I also just about choked when Coach was sitting with his disciples telling them everything you need to do to get to the end. Last I looked Coach you never made it to the end… And they all just sat there sucking it in…OMG

Mikayla – I fear more for Brandon’s safety then hers – she looks like she cna hold her own.

Looks like the beginning of a great season.

LOL – Skinny McWhiteman – perfect!!

And, so sorry for your representation on Survivor – can’t wait to listen to your poem / spoken word.

Also Stigmata had Patricia Arquette and Gabriel Byrne in it. Other than that I’ve blocked it from my mind.

Semhar’s poetry was um…. yeah okay then. I love Cochran’s humour, he isn’t afraid to take the piss out of himself. I think his anxiety will probably get the better of him though. I like Dawn even with the mini breakdown. Keith is attractive (I think its Keith, hes the ultra tall dude) but so far kinda meh.

Little Brandon Hantz, first how the chuff do you think that your tattoos are not going to be seen? It’s not going to happen love. Just accept that and move on. Second, seriously you weren’t expecting women to be wearing not too much? Get a grip. I fear for Mikayla safety. At night maybe he should be tied down.

And for Mike, there are some attractive on the show this time.

I’m expecting a lot of F-bit and masturbatory comments from Mike this season given the succulent nature of many of the female castaways.

When Skinny McWhiteman, er, Cochran said he would be a genie in a bottle and they wouldn’t have to rub, did they edit out the part where he said he would be rubbing himself in every moment of downtime on the island?

Mike… in the Semhar struggle between brain and reproductive organ, my brain sent the reproductive organ clear and concise signals to shut the hell down every time Semhar was on the screen. The final insult to injury was her profession to be a spoken word artist. The downside of the field of English as I well know, is that it produces a fair few pretentious fuckwits. The M.O on how to spot them is if they call their profession ‘spoken word artist’ rather than ‘poet’.

Unfortunately as an English tutor and aficionado of the English language the fact that I am being ‘represented’ by Semhar the worst ‘spoken word artist’ in history and Dawn the English professor who is having emotional breakdowns on Day freaking two does not please me. I will have a poem of my own for Semhar on the call in show though

Just a bit of background for those who care and those who don’t. Keith is from E-Die-nah MN which is the rich Minneapolis suburb. So our friend’s family has some money.

And Marji is right, Ethan is not the best survivor out there. He was taken to the final 2 by Kim over Lex just because he was nice. Who says that nice guys finish last.

1. Ozzy has no chance of making Final Three. If he does that every listener of the show and reader of this website comments page will be thoroughly sick of me verbally dissecting him with rapier like language for being an epic unbridled douche the scope of which is greater than the known cosmos.

2. Stacy is Dan’s sleeper pick. She’s my sleeper pick too, because you would have to be asleep to pick this one to go far. In the videos before the game even started like 4 castaways remakred that she seemed antisocial and gave off bad vibes. THAT MEANS SHE’S SCREWED. Hopefully she will be Coach fodder, ensuring more episodes of Dragon Slaying goodness.

3. Unfortunately yes Dan, I have to root for the English professor Dawn due to occupational parallelism. I say unfortunately because they probably should already have her name on the welcome mats at Redemption Island.

And get it straight Marji… I don’t have a blow up family. I have a blow up Harem.

Also, Dr Doom… getting my name in a gangster rap song allows me to cross one key point off my bucket list. Whoo!!

BTW – someone recently told me that they think Marji should do voiceover work. What a wonderful voice and a fantastic laugh!

(Sorry for the vocals in the beginning)

As I walk through the island of the walk of shame
I’m hooked on Survivor, and Armchair is to blame.
Cause I’ve been drinkin’ and laughin’ so long
that even my girlfriend thinks that my mind is gone.
But I never blindsided a man that didn’t deserve it
And I watch those girls you know I be scurred of.
Michael better watch how he’s talking, cause Jesus is walkin’
and he’s rolling with Matty down the River Jordan.
And I really hate to scream, but I gotta say:
Patrick sounds hot, though I’m not gay.
I’m the kinda guy who likes sparkles on my Wednesday night
with Jeff Probst in my sights
and Immunity if I’m feelin right!
————————————————————-
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
——————————————————————
They got a Bostoner that they got me facin’
but I’m a damn Yankee, so Mahk’s the enemy.
So I gotta stomach it for the Survivor team
while I hope the Yanks crush the Sox’s dreams.
Now you’ve got Marji in the mix with Jeff Probst on her mind
James in her hands and Colby aside.
Part of a husband and wife team, they’re the best
and if you mess with them, they’ll leave you a mess!
Cause Mike’s Manatee is just a web-cam away
With princesses in his sight, what will he say?
Will Karen gasp? Will BrianAlt cope?
The way things are lookin’, I can hope.
Tell me why is Mike so blind to see
that being Russell’s fan leads to misery?
————————————————————-
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
——————————————————————
Dan and the Scott, Scott and the Dan!
Blow for blow, who is the man?
Everyone’s impressed, but no one can touch them
and what’s going on in the kitchen?
Cuz I know Supermuffin’s cookin.
They say we got to call in, and they always interrupt
and if they don’t do that, then we ask them ‘what’s up?’
I guess we’re addicted.
We’re all afflicted.
that’s why Armchair rules, and I’m singing like a fool
————————————————————-
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
Been spending most my week living in an Armchair Paradise
——————————————————————
Tell me why is Conchita so blind to see
that she should go and marry Slappy?
Tell me why am I so awesome
that I can end this song without a rhyme?

What’s with everyone calling him ‘Boston Rob’ as if it’s some honorific? Especially Jeff! The guy is freakin’ in LOVE with Boston Rob! Sorry Marji, Jeffa Probst is taken. He’s 100% committed to Boston Rob!

There was a Surivor that played the same game as Rob. That was Richard Hatch. Sort of at least. I would be more impressed that a “new guy” did it, but still BORING TV!

Oh well, there’s always next season. Please get some people that want to fight!!!!

But first, here is one kudo to Rob. This whole season was about “The Big Lie” — that is that the jury would not vote for Rob because had won lots of money and married more money from Survivor. He sold that to his whole tribe (except Matt), and they so deeply believed it that they all convinced themselves that they could win by going to the finale with him. THAT IS WHY THE LAME FINALISTS SPENT THEIR FINAL SPEECHES PRAISING ROB AND PITCHING THEIR REASONS FOR FOLLOWING ROB LIKE A PUPPY DOG — THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVED ROB’S BIG LIE. Of course, Rob had to find two survivors that were so lame that a jury couldn’t vote for them, and he did.

Now why it sucked.

1. See above. Great play, but very boring after the merge. So boring that Survivor merged episodes and hid information just to try to make it interesting.

2. It is not fair. What is fair about bringing in experienced people, giving them special treatment so they can’t be on the same tribe, and then turning them loose on virgins?

3. Redemption Island is totally lame. The whole social scene there was boring (unless Matt had sex with the cute girls he got to sleep with). It took away the reward challenges that I like most. And the eventual Redemption Island champions just got voted off immediately anyway, which is totally predictable because it gives an existing majority alliance another easy vote before they have to turn on each other.

I bet they give the Redemption Island returnee immunity for a few days in the next season, or else it will be just as bad.

I think Survivor is declining because the game has turned into voting out the strongest players earlier and earlier, leaving the worst and most boring. It is sort of intrinsic in the game rules. If you are a weak player, your best hope is to cling to a strong player. The only interesting development is that survivors might try the Phillip approach and just act crazy and insult everyone just so the strong players will want to keep them around.

There have been a lot of interesting people on Survivor the last few seasons — but they were voted off early and never became a story.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephenie_LaGrossa

“In 2009, LaGrossa became engaged to Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick.[2] They were married on November 13, 2010.[4] On February 22, 2011, the couple announced they were expecting their first child in September.”

I would love to see Ozzy and Amanda come back.

Good on Ralph for voting for him.

They all were a pack of idiots for not getting rid of Rob earlier!

Yikes.

I will be really dissapointed in this season if Matt wins. I think he has suffered the most by being on Redemption Island the longest but that is his own damn fault. He ran his mouth to Rob and shot himself in the foot. If anyone other than Rob wins it will be because the jury is jaded. I think the whole Redemption Island twist was created to insure that the Rob vs Russell theme would be more dramatic and last longer if the were both voted out of the game early. Trouble is Russell got zapped by his tribe and completely choked at the Redemption Island duel early in the season. There was never a face to face head to head duel between Rob and Russell. The whole Rob vs Russell plot went down in flames and the producers got desperate and started hyping up the whole faith based game storyline. In fact….NEW RULE….any player that plays the church card must recite an entire bible passage of Jeff’s chosing from memory at tribal. That should weed out all the phony born agains…Mike is a joke, I’m willing to bet that he only truly believes in God on boats, airplanes, and while in prison. I think the show Survivor is slowly losing credibility each time the jury bases the vote on emotion rather than who truly played the best game. If you’re on the jury you lost, your game is over, no chance of winning a dime. Regardless of how you got knocked out you have to appreciate the concept of kill or be killed and give it to the best player.

And yeah, I feel somewhat sad that we are at the end of the season. Armchair Survivor, and its community, has really made me look forward to the middle of the week!

And for a perceived (but not by me) lackluster season, you guys have been on fire, making the show better than ever!

I love hearing these real reactions.

Did you notice in the last episode that Ashely was trimming Rob’s facial hair WITH SCISSORS!!! Yep. Clear as broad daylight.

Apparently they have scissors and apparently they use them to groom themselves.
Sooooo… Rob’s facial hair DOESN’T actually grow that way after all!!!

I have to admit, I felt a little cheated when I saw the “Survivor Grooming Salon” in action. Sheesh.

And yes after 4hr 38m of pain both mental and physical we completed it. So that Mudder is now my bitch!! Head over to http://www.wickedmuddy.com for the details!!

(I was giggling like a schoolgirl!)

They would need to stay in a sweat lodge or near a hot spring so that we could get the essential bikini pics.

I can see why a player would have that ” beat the best to be the best ” mentality, but if someone dangles a million dollar check in front of me all that chivalry crap goes out the window.

“If they want to beat the best player they are only interested in the title or Sole Survivor. If you don’t care who you beat, its all about the money.”

I fall into the latter category. After all, it IS about getting that money in the end.

While not great tv, it’s a decent strategy if you’re playing the game.

But then again, I’m a bit of a “Starscream”, so that’s probably where my ideas are coming from.

That’s why the most we can do is Fan Favorite.

I mean sure, if the “best” included my allies, sure. But some other person? Nope.

I suppose that wouldn’t be “exciting”, but if I’m actually in Survivor, I don’t give a damn about that.

Or whatever B.S. statement he made early in the season regarding his “not” revealing the immunity idol.

Or at least, bigger than most of the other strategies people played this season.

Overall, it really isn’t a fair season at all, and I doubt they will ever do it again because the last five weeks of the season are just boring as the go through the motions to play out to the predictable end.

Is it just me or does it seem that there is a trend over the last four or five seasons to vote out the strongest players first and that the weakest players are the ones making the final?

I feel like too many times I’ve seen a tribe fall apart at the wrong moment.

I think that’s why I haven’t had a problem with this season. Well, that and I think Rob’s hilarious, and playing an awesome game.

But I do understand the disgust for the lack of strategy on Zap’s part. (Those not named Rob and Philip)

Thinking about it now, why wouldn’t you want to get rid of Rob at this juncture? Do they fear Redemption Island?

Now I’m pumped, when is my flight to Nicaragua? I’ll go over there and turn shit upside down and make it a season to remember !!

Brian – we missed you last night!

But I am curious as to why you think so. Is it because of the non-strategizing thus far (Although I think some of it came back last night)? That Rob is still there? That Matt is puppet? Or all of the above?

Right? RIGHT!?

If Ashley or Natalie go on to win the game, I’m afraid there may be a simultaneous mass suicide of Armchair Survivor listeners. Starting with me. I’ll even brew the Kool Aid.

And then the somberness hit me!

I hate that Matt acts like he/we are just puppets on strings, and only God controls his/our movements.

That’s what annoys/pisses me off about him. And about other people who act like him. I’ve seen his type before.

I’m getting so sick and tired of the constant “god” talk every week this season.

I’m an athiest and I know we often get grouped in as shoving that down people’s throats but man does this season every shove God and Jesus down ours. I hate when christians on reality TV shows think God is somehow guiding them in the game. First (even though I don’t think God exists) it’s so annoying to assume that God would even give a shit about a reality TV show when there are more pressing matters to deal with. Secondly it’s so narcissistic of Christians who think God is guiding or helping them with every little detail in their life. Yes Matt, you are SOOO important to “God” that he has to take the time to make sure you don’t loose hope in redemption island.

I also hate how Jeff Probst on his video blog says “We had no idea that there would be such a spiritual connection when we created Redemption Island, considering the implications of ‘redemption’ as an idea” (obviously I’m paraphrasing). Really? You had no idea that a concept such as ‘redemption’ would be so intertwined with someone who apparently can’t take a shit without it beings god will??

Blah if it wasn’t for how awesome Boston Rob is doing I don’t know if I could stomach this season.

Anyway I’ve been listening for a few seasons now. Love your guys show. Keep up the good work.

Huh. Looks like I have other people to root for besides Rob. Woot!

(And is it possible to root for someone, but hope people turn on them at the same time?)

Unless he changes up his game, he’s not going to win.

As for your hopes for Philip, I’m in full agreement. If he did that, I’d vote for him over Rob!

It wouldn’t just be floating. It would be strategic floating. And psychological warfare.

I’m still liking this season. Maybe it’s Rob, I don’t know. Although if he was voted out, I wouldn’t be sad. He had a good run.

But I’m having a harder time with Matt.

A Finale with the least worthy survivors is not very exciting either. Rob will get the Russell treatment and just underline the result of that strategy.

This overall arch has been a trend in Survivor and may doom it or require them to make some major changes to the format.

I admit it, I still watch cartoons. The Avengers is awesome!

I had all those shows, plus Captain Planet, Samurai Pizza Cats, Pokemon, Digimon and Street Sharks

Why did I have to grow up?? Well somewhat at least…

Also, they kind of show LIVE ACTION stuff now. I’m going to let that sink in.

And the Saturday Morning experience is dying, my friend.

What ever happened to making Saturday Morning a magical time?!?

Fucking ridiculous.

In my day, we had Batman, X-Men, Spider-Man, Dragon Ball Z, and Pee Wee Herman.

I do wonder where the line is drawn with stealing things – stealing shorts – guys still have undies. stealing bikini tops – maybe the girls have bras (maybe not). Fine line but Rupert started it, Russell continued it and Jane refined it….

I realised that I only had 8 members on that tribe on this week’s call instead of nine, so you’re there… you’re just playing an under the radar style game.

Or both?

You have my permission to CUT MY CALL OFF SHORT if it is that horrible in reception. That was YUCKY to listen to! Soooo please, please, please hang up the call if it ever comes through like that again. Boo.

I can’t blame my phone (a new iPhone 4)… but I think it had to do with the fact I was in a concrete basement during that call. What I was doing down there… I will leave to your imagination.

But, seriously… just cut it. You have my blessings!!!

THAT BEING SAID… I will translate/elaborate on what I was saying.

I was talking about Ashley when I mentioned the girl who had done NOTHING. I said at least Natalie and Andrea have both won an immunity challenge. But I STILL think it will be someone “non-threatening” like Ashley who will squeak through and then get labeled as “strategic.”

I hope not.
Because that’s bullshit. (Sandra, are you listening?)

The other thing I was adamant about was this whole STEALING of people’s personal stuff. (Rupert stole shoes, Dan’s shoes got buried last season, Russell burned socks, and Julie buried Phillip’s pants… just to name a few.) But I know there’s a rule about taking people’s personal stuff. Sooooo… the question is: where is the line to be drawn on that?

I guess they can steal clothing. Which is lowdown. And if it IS allowed, then why aren’t they stealing EVERYONE’S CLOTHING?!? Talk about getting an advantage on your opponent!

So what’s the line? What’s the rule? Would love to know.

That’s my .02

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSXNU1_bouc

1. The deep-throated guy said “Go Devil Rays” at the end of the call. At least, that’s what makes sense. Maybe.

2. Race Bannon is from a cartoon called Johnny Quest. He protected the titular Johnny Quest, and his (Hindu?) friend, Hadji. Steve just happens to look like him.

Technically, that cartoon is older than I am! (1964!)

3. You are awesome. Yes, you. Not a clarification, I know. Sue me!

“Scott holds his own a lot better than he gives himself credit for.”

If that was intentional… GENIUS!!

Nothing about me is little.

I cannot state VEHEMENTLY ENOUGH how much I yearn for Mike and Marji to keep doing the weekend show WITH interruptions. Your interruptions and live comments on my and others calls is the prime motivation for me to do it in the first place. The weekend show without you was still worth it, but there is no comparison!!

I think that lots of people say they aren’t racist. But really saying it and living are two different things. People who bring up race to inflame others are inherently racist whether they are black or white. I think we need to stop talking about it and start using our actions to prove that everyone is truly equal.

“It’s ALIVE!!! ALIIIIIIVVVEEEE!!!!”

1 – Boston Rob (of course!)
3 – Jeff (he isn’t married)
4 – Sight (I like Mikee’s reason)
5 – One bowl of crispy. And, I would even share it with Boston Rob – mmmm

He’ll misspell it “Tim”.

1] MATT — he will slip in by the grace of GOD

2] All of them and I’ll watch the fun after a lot of drinks — Or just Ashley

3] Jeff — We could have a few drinks and talk till the Rooster comes home LOL

4] Sight — So I can still listen to my favorite podcast “ARMCHAIR SURVIVOR” that way I wouldn’t miss the sounds of pain

5] Crispy — The other rice is too WET

That my view — “I LIKE IT”

*Runs off cackling maniacally*

I stupid.

Also, Philadelphia.

But if it were Ashley… I don’t even think I could even get things going with jumper cables.

I think Rob is the most deserving player to win but Matt would be the ultimate comeback kid if he won.

I’d bang the living shit out of all of them in the order you listed them !!

I kinda like Philips science fiction life stories, but the sight of his coin purse dragging on the ground is enough to make an onion cry!

Crispy rice for sure…Nothing starts my day better than a enlightening conversation with a bowl of Rice Krispies….Smack Crackle and Pop !!

PHILE.
PHILLITE.

What is Ralph going to do next week; PHILLISTINES???

Jeff say “come on in, guys.”
…Jeff says “Wanna know what you’re playing for?”
Jeff says “I got nothin’ for ya”
Jeff says “___ is still in this thing!”
An immunity idol is played, searched for, and shown
When Jeff says, “If anyone has the hidden immunity idol”
A double drink if said idol is not authentic
Immunity idol is searched for
Whenever Jeff says “ball” or “balls”
Gnats
God/faith is mentioned (not like “oh my god”, but more like the prayer warriors)
Russel is mentioned (Hey, it could still happen!)
A blindside is mentioned (contestants/Jeff)
Double drink if blindside is successfully pulled off
someone says “no one else is playing this game.” or “I’m the only one…
Medical team is called in.
Group hug
The term “a threat” is used in reference to another player
Triple drink if a contestant quits
Double if a challenge is thrown

And special for this season:
Phil busts out his tattoos
Phil is seen in his pink underwear
Every time Rob disposes of an idol clue
a name is horribly misspelled at tribal
Jeff says “you seized the moment”

My qualifications? My heartbreaking tale of facing adversity and obstacles (due to being Puerto Rican). Which is limited to my (white) girlfriend, in the heat of a fake argument, telling me she’s going get the Spic n’ Span.

I think Phil’s bullshitting. He’s pulling a Keyser Soze on us. And you know what?

The greatest trick Phil ever pulled was making the world believe he exists.

1. I would rather see Boston Rob win.
2. Depends on my mood… if I’m in the mood to be yelled at, my dark fairy queen Stephanie. If I’m in a nice mood… my golden goddess Andrea.
3. Boston Rob. Just because then I’d be hanging out with Boston Rob. And then I could probably leverage Marji’s life savings out of her to take my place
4. Would rather lose my sense of sight. I love music too much… and the underwear… ugh…
5. One bowl of crispy. Always the crispy.

1. Would you rather see Boston Rob or Matt win the game?
2. (For the guys) Would you rather have one night alone with Andrea, Ashley, Natalie, Stephanie or Krista?
3. (For the girls) Would you rather have one night alone with Mike Chisel, Jeff Probst, Boston Rob or Grant?
4. Would you rather lose your sense of sight and never have to see Phillip’s underwear again, or lose your sense of hearing and never have to hear him rant again?
5. Would you rather have 2 bowls of normal rice, or one bowl of crispy?

Get onto it guys, I want this comment thread to crack the half century mark

Sure, he’s naive, but I think he has heart. And his faith doesn’t bother me, despite it being the defining thing about him due to his edit. But it’s due to that edit that I occasionally poke fun at him.

Also, he makes me drink, which is always a good thing.

Although to give a hint, right now on the list Marji is fairly high up. She just has this air of enticing mystery about her… you know kind of like there was about me before I revealed my hand as a nerdy intellectual white guy from New Zealand

Plus, Karen’s use of the word proselytizing reminds me of my ultimate alluring fantasy that is always lingering at the horizons of my mind… two women in bed with me on either side… both taking turns reading out big words from the dictionary.

Come on guys, let’s take this comment thread… TO THE MOOOOOOON!!!!

Likewise in the gay men category for every Richard Hatch and Todd Herzog there is a Spencer (Tocantins) or Charlie (Gabon) who didn’t fare so well.

Even though Andrea currently isn’t doing much strategically… if she just saunters past the camera every now and again, flashes me a golden smile and alternates between her two faces of alluring deep consternation and flirty, bubbly happiness then I am a truly satisfied Kiwi.

I’m going to stop now, after doing my bit to put the comments up this week

The Survivor casting people are really doing their job in selecting representatives of the typical man on the street type person. I mean I dont know about you guys but I can barely walk down the street without bumping into two ex NFL players, a former special agent, two reality TV stars and a farmer who can’t spell.

Survivor: Civil Rights Island truly began in earnest this week, but the honorary spokesman for African American heritage was a feather wearing former shit scooper in his pink dungaroos with apparent bipolar disorder. So I wouldnt be expecting many ‘I have a dream’ type soaring orations any time soon.

Scott, I’m glad you enjoyed my cat. She always “talks” when I am on the phone.

Karen’s cat!!!

All except the first one… maybe I’ll keep it going, so we can be introduced to some of the players on Dan’s Technological Bullshit tribe.

Dan gunned down my kiwis… oh dear lord no!! You will pay for this!!

Karen… now you now what it’s like to get anesthetized compliments from a New Zealander.

Of course I am glad they didn’t think of that because I want my Boston Rob to stay.

Jeff shares you – his loss on that one – he may be jealous though after your date.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. That remark was fun-ny. Thank you call-er. Not New Zea-land. Swit-zer-land. Swit-zer-land. Swit-zer-land. Ha. Ha. Ha.”

Since they couldn’t cut a deal by talking to Ometepe, this would have planted seeds of doubt in the Ometepe folks and they may get one to switch, especially someone who realizes that they can’t all to the finals.

Rob has probably been telling them all that the jury will never vote for him, but of course when it goes to the jury he will give a grand speech about how he ran the whole show and was the cult leader who outplayed and outwitted all the Ometepe sheep. Plus he beat Russell, head-to-head.

I just thought I’d put in a preparatory notice that my call ins this week involve a meeting with God, clairvoyant future predicting powers and alien entities from the Zeta Reticula star cluster.

No, I am not kidding

And you get a mention in one of my drugged up calls this week. Don’t worry, I’m nice haha

I also suggest perhaps some Don Corleone quotes for the Robfather, maybe also the Scarface ‘Say Hello to my little friend’ for if he gets voted out and takes revenge

I thought of another quote from Austin Powers too. You know that one where Dr Evil is referring to his ‘anonymous henchmen in the corner, and you! The anonymous henchmen fiddling with machinery’ that could be perfect for describing the amorphous blob known only as Natashley.

Scott requested for me to use a Austin Powers classic ” Sharks with freakin laser beams attached to their heads ” be sure to listen for it !!

This is going to be a audio version of where’s Waldo….from hell !!

So, Scott I met this woman on a train in England a few years back…she said she was from New Zealand…I can’t for the life of me remember her name. Perhaps you know her {since New Zealand is such a small country. }

And as for your offer of making Armchair Survivor stickers, that is a wonderful idea, but I would absolutely love to have an Armchair Survivor T-shirt, too! And if you had them supermuffingirl and I can wear them on the Amazing Race! It’s all about the marketing!

Hahahaha totally kidding Dan, hope you rock it

I think that RI is the best place for Matty. Poor guy…he is seeing it as never getting a break when really, after 15 days alone on RI he couldn’t shut up. I think people are making too much of his “religousness” (is that even a word???) I think he is probably pretty religious but in his confessionals they get him talking on the subject of God and edit him accordingly. I also don’t think he throws his religion into people’s faces so I really don’t have that much of a problem with it.

Been thinking on when the next person will come back from RI. I think at the final immunity challenge. I haven’t heard.

I have the first aspects of a possible idea for next week (if physically able) germinating like a seed in my mind… just needs some watering. Maybe next week we can go an entire show without Mike referencing my anatomical features.

And thank you Roxan for the well wishes. One day of non surgical freedom to go! Eep!

1. Thanks for the name of the show!! I feel honored.

2. I think I should photoshop some pictures of myself in various countries with various flags and costumes… cause apparently we are going for the Guinness World Record for ‘Man who was born in the most countries’.

3. Dan… that was awesome. I feel like my call was like bringing a pea shooter against a portable nuclear device. I concede victory to you this week and will return to the ACME drawing board post haste…

Got some more pondering to do.

How about this… Matt Elrod has been blindsided more times than Stevie Wonder.

Matt Elrod has been blindsided more often than a drunk guy playing dodgeball.

Did you hear about Matt’s new Christian rock band?? The Blindsides. soon they’re going to have a Blindside for each instrument

Matt Elrod has been voted out more often than gay marriage in Arkansas.

Thank you, I’m here all week

But regardless of Zap’s Karma or Karma-less gifts… they threw a challenge. Thus they are a bunch of losers. It didn’t work out for them like they thought it would. It worked
AGAINST them as they are now down in numbers.

If they wanted to get rid of Russell, they should have waited until they REALLY lost a challenge (just a few days away) and they could have done it then, and not have been down the numbers. But they screwed the pooch.

Plain and simple: they made the WRONG decision.

Which brings us back to the number 3 rule in Surivor: NEVER throw a challenge, dumbasses!

I always prayed to God that someone would tell me that my penis has a PhD… yet I never really considered the fact that it would be a married man with children who lives about 2000 miles away from me. The universe works in mysterious ways

“My tribe is a veritable menagerie of unhinged idiocy with the intelligence quotient of a plate of beans negotiating it’s way out of a cow’s digestive system”

It depends on how bad the grammar is and if they use text speak, I mean if they write out stuff like “I wuv you, u r h0t stuffz” then Dan is probably right.

… This must be why I am so desperately alone.

Zing !!!

You sure showed me hahaha

Thank you Mike and Marji for making my call awesome with your interjections and comments!! Obviously podcasting comes natural to you Canadians

Now I all sad.

You know though, I kind of wonder what Marji and Mike make of all this… I mean this isn’t even an actual show posting and there’s now almost 30 comments

Dan and I have mutually agreed upon a draw and retired honorably from the protracted literary struggle that has captivated two entire nations. A shame perhaps, as I was really looking forward to hitting back with my next reply which involved time travel, post apocalyptic wastelands and parallel universes. Seriously.

For now the two mighty gladiators rest, both satisfied in the extent of their efforts and respectful of the efforts of their mighty opponent. The world may sleep once more…

And you’ll never get The Crispy™. It’s all mine.

But my incorrigible spirit knows no surrender!! Thus I present… my riposte.

You think THAT’S bad?? Well the authorities got wind of my little abusing old ladies with multiple personality disorder scheme. They claimed they had never seen a miscreant such as I and that I must be mentally deranged. They strapped me in a pure white full covering strait jacket and threw me into the sensory deprivation room.

All I can see is white, no objects, no depth, no contrast and I cannot move. Now to get my news of what occurs on Survivor I have to wait until Tuesday mornings at 9:55am, not that time has any meaning to one such as I trapped in a blank nothingness all day for all of eternity for me heinous crimes against humanity. At that time I am barely aware in my psychotic state that I am moved towards one of the white walls, where a newspaper article from that day which never has any relevance in content to Survivor has been placed on a white board… entirely written in Braille, which I do not understand.

Using only my forehead in a sensory method which doesn’t work I scan the Braille which I don’t understand to attempt to discover it’s content which is not about Survivor and relate it to Survivor in a way that is totally wrong and leads me to zero comprehension of what actually happened on the show.

Since your Nostradamus quatrains actually may end up having relevance to the actual events on Survivor and lead you to some knowledge of it’s goings on… I believe I have you trumped good sir.

After a terrible storm my dedicated fleet of horses and curriers got swept off coarse and found themselves marooned on Gilligan’s Island. The skipper, Gilligan, Marry Anne, Ginger, the Howells, and the professor have long since passed. The only reminders of the tropical kingdom that once was are the pedal powered washing machine, and the little white radio that seemed to be powered by nuclear fusion because no mortal battery could last that long. As a result…
I now receive my Survivor info by the original prophet, Nostradamus. His prophecies have predicted key moments in world history. The rise and fall of Hitler, the cold war, men walking on the the moon, the Challenger disaster and even 9/11..
In his final Quatrain he wrote:

In the time of reality tv, a diabolical struggle their shall be. Representatives of all things good, evil, sexy, weird, and psychotic shall find themselves in an exotic distant land. Divided into tribes they will be. Challenges, weather, and hunger greet them all at every turn until one by one their torches no longer burn. For the final battle their remains three. A great man bearing the letter “B” on his crown, A phoenix of a player who finds his strength in a book that is pinkly bound, and a false warrior who’s scrotum drags on the ground. The victor to be decided by the mark of a juries hand, he is destined to become someone great and grand !!

Beat that punk !! ( slapping you across the face with a empty glove )

Oh yeah Dan?!?! Well I WISH I had the Pony Express!! All I have is a 85 year old phony psychic with multiple personality disorder who whilst in personality number 34 of 98 attempts to channel the happenings on Survivor from the luminous ether and display them to me using only sign language which I have never learnt. Not only is she not psychic and is thus contributing nothing to my knowledge of Survivor, I have to deal with her continual lapsing into the other 97 personalities most of which don’t even know enough to fake having psychic knowledge of Survivor and some of which display openly violent tendencies towards me.

Ohhh… Dan my young padawan you are up against a true English tutor here, proceedeth if thou dare!

Good news, I called in!

Ugly news, you’ll hear on my call.

You argue that when the merge happens the two sides will be tight and not want to vote off one of their own. I totally agree. Especially if they are even numbered.

But regardless… using your same argument, I think this is exactly why it would be most advantageous to the Redeemed Castaway to be introduced at this point. Because that would make them a SWING VOTE. Most desired by BOTH factions.

They wouldn’t want to vote that person off, they would want to vote off someone in the other Alliance. They would want to COURT the Swing Vote Redeemed Castaway with everything they had.

So, I think you argument is sound, but I think it is sound in arguing that the Redeemed Castaway would be MOST VALUABLE and SAFEST when the merge FIRST occurs.

Yes?

Food for thought, me lovely.

And it almost feels like irony that with my “Christian” name, I am driving you to thoughts of “sin”, especially about other “good” Christians!

Keep in mind that this demented thought is a direct result of Christian’s new drinking game rules….

Thanks for everyone who mentioned me, Dan, Mahk and Rox and for Mike and Marji for putting up with my stuff . Feel the love! And Mahk… when I’m over in the US sometime I’ll look you up for that promised kick in the nuts.

Also, go Dark Angel! This Wednesday is going to be awesome. I have a feeling the beginning of the show/duel is going to set the tone for the entire episode.

(Yes, I know I’m reaching a bit!)

I totally said ‘Zed’ and then 3 seconds later Mike is chastising me for not saying ‘Zed’. Seriously people, listen and tell me I’m not going crazy here. Proper hearing obviously not a trademark of you Canadians

Francesca was a good character, Russell always shook things up and made them interesting, Kristina was the only one with enough strategic courage to go against Rob and Krista and Stephanie were all set to flip and makes things exciting. Now we’re left with boring ass nobodies like Sarita, Julie, Mike, Steve and the proverbial Survivor flotsam and jetsam of Ashley and Natalie.

I started out liking Ralph but I am liking him less and less. He really has an inflated sense of himself.